• Image of Candlekitty 2000 Whisky Sponge 19 Year Old
  • Image of Candlekitty 2000 Whisky Sponge 19 Year Old
  • Image of Candlekitty 2000 Whisky Sponge 19 Year Old
  • Image of Candlekitty 2000 Whisky Sponge 19 Year Old

Candlekitty single malt was distilled on Jesus Christ's 2000th birthday and bottled after 19 years of maturation in a pair of refill hogsheads. 19 years doesn't seem like very much when you are already 2000 years old! Which just goes to show our perceptions of time are malleable and subjective, and also that when Jesus returns he should qualify for free public transport.

We are not allowed to say the name of the distillery where this comes from even though it is blindingly obvious to anyone with a passing knowledge of Scotch Whisky. This is because if the 'brand' name were to be used, the owners of that brand would cry so much. They would curl up on the floor and weep for days, snot would dribble from their noses and run into their mouths and the dribble would pool on the floor and no amount of cuddles from Diageo's chief executive would console them.

The great secret of Candlekitty single malt would be out in the world and the Pandora's box of marketing would be forever opened. We reduced the strength of this whisky down to 48.5% so that we could wring every last penny from you personally and laugh at you while we bathe in a huge sold gold bathtub of money while receiving champagne bukkake from genetically engineered panda butlers!

Have a nice day
Whiskysponge. Xxx

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